A Worthy Cause

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29981699/?gt1=43001

WASHINGTON - The Special Olympics launched a campaign Tuesday to banish the word "retard," a casual insult that derives from an out-of-favor medical term and has long been considered inappropriate.
People signed pledges not to use the word and students gathered to denounce its use at rallies from Florida to Alaska. Over the long-term, organizers hope to change attitudes about people with mental disabilities, who number more than 190 million worldwide, according to the World Health Organization.
"It's insulting, it's painful and it hurts people," said actor Eddie Barbanell, who has Down syndrome and appeared in the movie "The Ringer." "Get that word out! End the word! Bury it!"


While "retard" itself was never a medical term, it derives from the phrase "mental retardation," which by around 1900 was commonly used by scientists and doctors, said Peter Berns, executive director of The Arc of the United States, a nonprofit advocate for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
Even though Berns said its pejorative connotation was established in the 1960s, the phrase "mental retardation" is still used in many state and federal laws, much to the dismay of those trying to stamp out its use.
"People with intellectual disabilities themselves really mounted a movement that they did not want to be referred to with the word 'retarded,'" he said.
As such, the American Association of Mental Retardation changed its name in 2007 to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities after its members pleaded for the organization to do so. In another sign that the formal use of the term "mentally retarded" had lost currency, The Associated Press replaced it in its stylebook in 2008 with "mentally disabled."

Governors sign on
Still, those seeking to end the term's use face a difficult battle.
"This word is deeply ingrained in our psyche. It comes up in a lot of different contexts," said Andrew Imparato, president and chief executive officer of the American Association of People With Disabilities. "We have to kind of call it out and start a conversation about why it's not OK to use the word."
Among the signatures collected Tuesday were several that belonged to governors: In California, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger — whose mother-in-law founded Special Olympics — signed a proclamation to stop using the word, as did Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry. Iowa Gov. Chet Culver issued a certificate of recognition in support of the campaign.
But the manpower behind the "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign comes from the students who devised the campaign last month during a Special Olympics youth summit in Idaho and organized rallies around the country.
In Florida, 16-year-old Noah Gray organized a rally for some 600 students at Miami Palmetto Senior High School that featured a rap performance and a speech by Barbanell about his experiences of being called a "retard."
"Like many other high school students and adults, I used to use the word 'retarded' all the time," said Gray, who was invited to speak at last month's youth summit. "Since coming down from the Special Olympics, I have not used that word once ... and I'm discouraging other people" from using it.
'The R-word'At Bowie High School in Maryland, 18-year-old Shannan Barksdale helped gather 861 pledges that will be sent to the Special Olympics organization. During the school's lunch periods, Barksdale yelled, "Say no to the R-word!" and urged students to sign pledges.
"The word should be eliminated from everyone's vocabulary," she said.
Special Olympics has enlisted actor John C. McGinley of the TV show "Scrubs" as a spokesman for the campaign. McGinley, whose 11-year-old son has Down syndrome, said many people don't realize the word is hateful.
"It is saturated in the vernacular, and this will take a while. And it's OK," he said Tuesday. "But it's important to get under way."

5 Steps to being a Goddess

I baked today. Bringing my inner baker out from deep within. So here I am with my boxed cake mix watching Legally Blonde. I can argue case law, yet I can't make a simple cake.

1. I open the cake mix and a nice portion of the powder goes flying.


2. I realize the recipe calls for 3 eggs and I only have 2. So I do what any normal 20 some year old girl would do and look up on wikihow what to substitute. Apparently, you can put in applesauce. I don't have applesauce. I put in half a thing of yogurt. Pomegranate yogurt. I have yet to taste.


3. I mix everything together and it is not gooey at all. It's like making bread. So I mush it together and throw it in the pan. Two minutes later I realize I forgot to add water. So I grab it out of the oven and scoop it back into the bowl to stir in water.


4. Thankfully, 34 minutes it comes out looking like cake.


5. Add chocolate frosting and sprinkles. I am now a domestic goddess.

Clear and Present Danger

Running in heels. Alright, I'll admit it most days I love being a girl. I like pink, fluffy pillows, handbags, and having the door held open for me. Yet, I agree that there are moments that I believe, nay, know that it is easier to be a guy.

Example - Love life. Even though women and do anything a man can do and in heels I may add. We are still expected to act like submissive 1950's poodle skirt girls when it comes to courting. We may throw out all the signs, but most men will admit that they want to be the one chasing. Which means that women are forced to be manipulative by men. Yet, then men claim that we are manipulative. A vicious cycle. If women put out too much they are dirty sluts, yet if they keep their legs closed they are prudes. Men only want women to sleep around if it is with them.

I have to pay the same bills, pay rent, work the same amount of hours, take the same classes, etc. Yet, realistically in ten years I am somehow expected to also do all the house cleaning, cooking, and child raising. Granted, if you want to pay me to stay at home, fine. The fact that men nowadays also expect their wife to work 40 hours a week and bring home a sizable paychecks makes me wonder...how did feminism backfire so that now we have to do more work?

Trial and Favor

Alright. I am committing. Law School, I want it. Time to study for the stupid placement test and prepare some letters of recommendation. What I need to do is make sure I can at least maintain a score in the mid 150's and what I will try to do is raise my average by a few points. It's weird to think that I will be 27 by the time I graduate. Hopefully by then we will be out of this stupid recession and I can get a job.

So it's time to tap into my inner Elle Woods. Study, study, study. Killer essay. Maybe a recommendation from Oprah or the Pope. I'm actually a little disappointed that I won't be able to start next September. I have the wait a whole year and half. Boo. Whatever way it works out, at least I have something to work towards.

Trial and Error

I don't understand this silly test and what it has to do with becoming an attorney. So Jose, Roberts, Claude, Lila, and Ping are on a boat. If Paul is on the left side of Lila, but only if Lila is driving the boat...... First, why are these random people on a boat so damn picky about where they are sitting? Second, why do I care?



Honestly, I can read a law book, brief a case, and argue in front of people. What else do you want from me Harvard!



I took the LSAT's for the first time back in October of 2007. I didn't study...scratch that...I studied once. I took a practice test while watching Legally Blonde at 2am. I didn't do well. So I retook the test this morning. It doesn't count officially, but it was a practice test taken under the real conditions at the U of M. I haven't looked at my LSAT book in a year and a half. While taking the test, I thought this is not going well. I am going to end up a stripper in Siren, WI. Then strangely enough I did 10 pts better than I did when I took it the first time.



Excited, yes. Confused, yes. I hate this stupid test.

Phobia

Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating.
Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating. - Wikipedia

Examination on this topic has made me begun to wonder whether the idea of commitment is a genetic trait. Take for example my extended family.

My dad's family has commitment down pact. 6 out of 7 of them are married and minus my father all of them have been in stable 30 plus year relationships. Divorce is just not an option. Everyone gets married and weirdly everyone seems pretty happy being committed to only one person.

My mom's family finds commitment impossible for the most part. My great uncles could only settle down when there was something in it for them e.g. cash. My uncles avoid committed relationships with anything but cigarettes. Then there is my generation.

Case Study #1. Female, mid twenties. "Dana" Dana can commit intensly for the first month or so. Men are almost seemed as shoes or at least a means to shoes. Dana may wear the pair of shoes for the first month exclusively, but then she will get bored. She will store the shoes for later use, but will make sure her closet is always populated.

Case Study #2. Male, mid twenties. "George" George desperatly wants to be in love and complains about how it never happens. Yet, George is regulary presented with opportunities. He is able to commit for about one night, then when the suitor begins pursuing a relationship George starts feeling pressured. He will keep them around for the occasional ego boost, yet refuses to consider them actual potentials.

Case Study #3. Female, early twenties. "Elle" Elle wouldn't consider herself a commitment phobe, but upon further examination it is clear she has many issues in regards to men. She will typically find a boy she is attracted to and befriend him immediatly. She will start building what if scenerios in her head and annoy all her friends with this information constantly. Yet, she will never pursue. In fact, she almost prefers the perfect relationship in her head and becomes irritated if the boy actual shows interest and starts wreaking her mental relationship.

Hmmm? Healthy.

Pride

His curse.

The scent of lamp oil.

Lacking the praise of a Golden Grecian God,

a weak chin.

Wanting the worship,

undue to him.

Eating away at his heart.

A scorpion that tails stings itself.

His curse, his end

Forgotten

Has the moon forgoten her child?

She has disappeared with the fall.

Withered leaves collect at my feet.

The stale dark stills,

while the streetlight flickers toward dawn.

Waiting for the sunrise,

past the aches of fall,

the death of winter,

and the budding spring.

There the summer moon waits for me.

Her shadow lighting my path.

My nightly hours,

where I walk with her as my guide.

*photo courtesy of the amazing Kellie

3 Glimpses

Broken glass lies behind me.

Here I stand bleeding and limping.

Shards of glass dig in with every step,

but with every step I get farther away.

My walk becomes easier.

The glass will eventually work its way out.









sweet champange intoxicating delicatly poured within the crystal men reach for the goblet ready to drink of the pure silk thirsting but left diappointed by the quick soberness





run




run so the your feet never touch the ground

leave before they realize you are gone

disappear before you become stuck

touch something

anything




before your senses die

Age

She left me standing on the corner.

Between an old fence,

more for holding people out than in.

Dusty gravel lumped in piles on the side of the road.

Most likely crafted by a child,

with proof of messy hands to be washed.

The child had long since disappeared

with only artifacts of dust mountains

leaving any trace.

I spied a place on the fence for me.

Should I sit on the road

and let these clean

hands darken with dirt?

Or sit on the splintering fence

in the shadows?

Thief

To steal back what was once yours.

To destroy what was built from your wreckage.

Take my name.

My face.

Love those I love.

Hate those I hate.

Build your live around me,

then throw me away.

Steal my thoughts.

Steal my ideas.

Steal my heart.

Do what I did to you.

Reality

I woke up and for a moment still thought you were here.
I called home expecting to hear your voice,
expected advice or a laugh.
I woke up happy and wanted to share with you my nothings.
I wanted to tell you about today,
just mindless chatter.

Then her voice came on the answering machine
and I remembered.

I'll have what she's having....

"When Harry Met Sally set the potential for male-female friendship back about 25 years," said Michael Monsour, assistant professor of communications at the University of Colorado at Denver.

Uh-oh, again I find myself setting back feminism single handily. Back to the basic question of whether men and women can just be friends. Let's start at the beginning. My first male friend was in 1st grade, a cute little Jewish boy who lived three blocks away and he also became my first boyfriend. It didn't last that long. Naturally, I began avoiding male friends at the age of 7 because of my first failed attempt. I stuck to being a girly girl and surrounding myself with female and gay male friends. My inexperience with the other sex caused some undesired reactions. Every time, I befriended a male up until college I automatically started having feelings for him.

Of course, I realize that there are girls who have platonic friendships with males. I wonder though if those friendship delve into the close friend territory. The all night, soul baring, secret sharing friendship. Apparently 62 percent of all subjects reported that sexual tension was present in their cross-sex friendships. That does not help my case.

Granted I have male friends, but it seems like I need to keep them in a certain list of check-offs to make it work.

Mockergirl's rules to maintaining cross-sex friendships.

1) Befriend those whom you have no physical attraction for what-s0-ever.

2) Befriend males with bad habits you couldn't stand in a boyfriend -e.g. poor dental hygiene, gamers, stupidity.

3) Do not marry your male friends in your head. (TRUST ME)

4) Wear a lot of sweaters, sweatpants, and ponytails.

5) Do not let them come over drunk at 4am to talk.

6) Befriend boys who like they could be your brother.

7) Start telling yourself how they are exactly like your dad or brother therefore eliminating any sexual urges.

8) Do not tell all your mutual friends when you start to slip up and find one of them attractive.

9) Deny, deny, deny.

10) When you fail, and you will. Repeat step 1-9 until desired results.

Cross Examination

The first thing they teach you about cross examination is that you should never ask a question unless you already know the answer.

This tip can come in pretty handy for life. Learn as much about the situation as possible before diving in. Know exactly what you are going to say and be ready for what you expect their answer to be. Of course, if they stray from the answer you have multiple options including impeaching them and making them stick to the original information you were presented with before.

Unfortunately, there isn't always a judge to keep a witness in line in real life.

The more I learn about the given situation the more I learn that more information pretty much only leads to more confusion. More questions and too many answers to fathom.

My entire case relies upon one stupid question. It doesn't matter how many witnesses I call, how much evidence I present, or if I am able to convince everyone else in the room I am right. If my cross doesn't go as planned the best I can do is try to settle.

I Don't Need Rhinestones

But Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend.....

Suspend reality for all practical purposes and let's pretend that I actually had enough money to start saving anything significant. What are we taught? Trust your money to stocks, mutual bonds, and banks. As recent history has shown us this is trusting in fool's gold. With this in mind I have planned my future financial happiness. Real gold. The price of gold is at a all time high with an ounce topping 1000 dollars. Yet, even when the price of gold goes down it is always worth something because unlike a piece of paper it's glittery and shiny gold. Plus, if worse comes to worse I'll melt it down and make a tennis bracelet. In the middle ages one ounce gold coin could buy a suit, today one ounce gold coin could still buy you a nice suit.

Maybe it's time to take the Marilyn Monroe's approach to life. I'm going to wear my savings - in diamonds. 'Cause square cut or pear shaped these rocks don't lose their shapes.

Steel Death Trap

Buffy, my 97 Honda Accord, little and sassy, able to power through Mesaba to Perkins during a raging Blizzard has officially hit teenage hormones. One day she will be just fine, the next she will refuse to start.

Everything in my life seems to fall apart leaving me in the position of damsel in distress more often than I would like to admit. It's hard to pretend to be an assertive independent women when you depend on a pack of boys to fix your life. At least I only depend on 3 of them opposed to 7 and I'm not lying around paleface in some glass coffin. Dopey, my mechanic regularly informs me of what is wrong with my car. Bashful, fixes my cupboards and furniture on a regular basis. Grumpy, he has resorted to fixing my plumbing. Hopefully, Prince Charming makes an appearance here pretty soon.

Prince Charming? Huh? Ever noticed that Prince Charming lacks personality or any deep characterization. At least dwarfs get a defining adjective besides charming. I don't know if I could spend 80 years with Mister Perfect . A weekend in Connecticut might be nice, but nothing beyond that. Dorian Gray was suppose to be "Prince Charming" but he drove a woman to suicide. Fitting considering what the guy would be now adays. Tall, dark, and handsome? I think I'd rather have short, scrawny, and pale. At least his deep seated complexes from middle school will keep him around rather than the hot, charming, narcissistic jerk.

Sometimes it would be easier if we all could just stick to one defining adjective. I could get Sleepy a pillow and Sneezy some Claritan and be good to go. Maybe that's where fairy tales lead us astray. We "princesses in trainings" learn that date worthy men are either villains or heroes. Sidekicks are the flawed. The nerdy, silly, goofy, and geeky personified by poor eyesight and high ACT scores who are good at teaching you how to fix your computer. Too bad my Grimm fables didn't let on that those boys would eventually be heading off to law or med school and that the cute boys would be community college dropouts with beer guts working at Taco John's.

Maybe Sleeping Beauty needs to wake up, fix her Honda, and take a look around at her dwarfs instead of waiting on some knight with a white Mustang.