Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating.
Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating. - Wikipedia
Examination on this topic has made me begun to wonder whether the idea of commitment is a genetic trait. Take for example my extended family.
My dad's family has commitment down pact. 6 out of 7 of them are married and minus my father all of them have been in stable 30 plus year relationships. Divorce is just not an option. Everyone gets married and weirdly everyone seems pretty happy being committed to only one person.
My mom's family finds commitment impossible for the most part. My great uncles could only settle down when there was something in it for them e.g. cash. My uncles avoid committed relationships with anything but cigarettes. Then there is my generation.
Case Study #1. Female, mid twenties. "Dana" Dana can commit intensly for the first month or so. Men are almost seemed as shoes or at least a means to shoes. Dana may wear the pair of shoes for the first month exclusively, but then she will get bored. She will store the shoes for later use, but will make sure her closet is always populated.
Case Study #2. Male, mid twenties. "George" George desperatly wants to be in love and complains about how it never happens. Yet, George is regulary presented with opportunities. He is able to commit for about one night, then when the suitor begins pursuing a relationship George starts feeling pressured. He will keep them around for the occasional ego boost, yet refuses to consider them actual potentials.
Case Study #3. Female, early twenties. "Elle" Elle wouldn't consider herself a commitment phobe, but upon further examination it is clear she has many issues in regards to men. She will typically find a boy she is attracted to and befriend him immediatly. She will start building what if scenerios in her head and annoy all her friends with this information constantly. Yet, she will never pursue. In fact, she almost prefers the perfect relationship in her head and becomes irritated if the boy actual shows interest and starts wreaking her mental relationship.
Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating. - Wikipedia
Examination on this topic has made me begun to wonder whether the idea of commitment is a genetic trait. Take for example my extended family.
My dad's family has commitment down pact. 6 out of 7 of them are married and minus my father all of them have been in stable 30 plus year relationships. Divorce is just not an option. Everyone gets married and weirdly everyone seems pretty happy being committed to only one person.
My mom's family finds commitment impossible for the most part. My great uncles could only settle down when there was something in it for them e.g. cash. My uncles avoid committed relationships with anything but cigarettes. Then there is my generation.
Case Study #1. Female, mid twenties. "Dana" Dana can commit intensly for the first month or so. Men are almost seemed as shoes or at least a means to shoes. Dana may wear the pair of shoes for the first month exclusively, but then she will get bored. She will store the shoes for later use, but will make sure her closet is always populated.
Case Study #2. Male, mid twenties. "George" George desperatly wants to be in love and complains about how it never happens. Yet, George is regulary presented with opportunities. He is able to commit for about one night, then when the suitor begins pursuing a relationship George starts feeling pressured. He will keep them around for the occasional ego boost, yet refuses to consider them actual potentials.
Case Study #3. Female, early twenties. "Elle" Elle wouldn't consider herself a commitment phobe, but upon further examination it is clear she has many issues in regards to men. She will typically find a boy she is attracted to and befriend him immediatly. She will start building what if scenerios in her head and annoy all her friends with this information constantly. Yet, she will never pursue. In fact, she almost prefers the perfect relationship in her head and becomes irritated if the boy actual shows interest and starts wreaking her mental relationship.
Hmmm? Healthy.
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